With the current obsession with beauty standards – and rebelling against them – women risk forgetting what truly matters in a relationship. Physical attraction plays the biggest part in the beginning. Men have to find us pleasing enough to want to know us better.
During the courtship, dating and, eventually, the committed phase, whilst physical attraction will always be somewhat important, it will take a backseat to how well we’re able to bond emotionally with our partners. The way to do this? We give them bragging rights.
Men differ from women. We need to acknowledge this. Most have a sense of pride which their parents cultivated from young. Boys are brought up as boys, not girls. Giving them bragging rights makes them proud of us and respect us. They see us as assets rather than liabilities. Consequently, they treat us a lot better.
So how do we accomplish this? Yes, some men get off on having the youngest and hottest women. But others love boasting to their mates about having a drama-free spouse. When my man’s mates comment that he no longer drank at pubs, he replied, “I have a hot girl to have beers with at home. No fuss, no trouble. Why go out?”
Granted, I’m not that hot, but when we broke up and finally patched things up, my man confessed that he missed me a lot and couldn’t get over me. He missed the smiles, laughter and easy conversations. He didn’t come home after work to a bitter and spiteful wife; he saw me smiling and playful and that was what he remembered when we were apart.
I totally agree that as women, we should have standards regarding how our partners treat us but how we convey these standards makes a difference to whether our men perceive us as worth their effort. In my case, I communicated this by being prepared to walk out on our relationship and never returning.
Once my man stepped up, he had the easygoing, smiling and happy me back. Always encouraging, supportive, gentle and drama-free AND a beer drinker too! 😛 He can’t find it anywhere else.
Attractiveness to our mates isn’t always based on looks alone. There’s nothing wrong with being feminist; but we can always balance this with feminine strength, poise and grace. Being contented rather than always nitpicking on the most trivial things like radfems helps a lot. And men appreciate this more than women realise.